Yesterday was a day of change. BIG change. Brian started his new job at Target (which I am positive he is going to love) and I am getting more responsibility in both Carter and Brian's life.
Now that Brian is working in Minneapolis, he has to (ok, so he doesn't HAVE to but it makes more sense) take the bus, which means his schedule is a little bit different than it used to be. He is used to doing everything for Carter and always being there and having that extra time with him, and now that he has a new job, with a new schedule, it's not going to be quite that way anymore. He's used to dropping Carter off in the morning but with the bus schedule the way it is, Carter would have to either get up really, really early for Brian to bring him, or he can sleep in a bit and I can bring him since I leave much later than Brian. I know this is not ideal for Brian. Brian wants to do those things, that's what he loves but this is what works best for all of us. Carter gets to sleep in, thus making him less tired, Brian doesn't have to rush to catch the bus in the morning, and I get a little bit of added responsibility when it comes to the two of them and gives me time to bond with Carter one on one (and also for Brian to see that I can handle it!). I'll also be picking him up in the afternoon (as of now) because I obviously will be home much earlier than Brian will. This will be a big adjustment for all of us, but I welcome it with open arms.
A woman at work made the comment "You amaze me, I'm just in awe of you. At 23 I never would've been able to handle that."
Whoa...Back up! Handle what? Being with and caring for the man that I love?! Trying to be the best girlfriend/role model I can be? It has never been a question of whether or not I could "handle it." I chose this and THANK GOD, Brian wants me here. I absolutely LOVE my life with Brian and Carter. Is it difficult somedays? Of course. Would I change it? NEVER. Life isn't meant to be easy, it would be too boring that way. As far as I'm concerned, I'm completely happy and that's all that matters :)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Time Flies!
What a difference a year makes!
This past year has flown by. It amazes me that the older I get, the faster time passes. It's a gentle reminder to slow down and enjoy life and not take anything for granted, and sometimes I need that.
I never would have imagined that I could be as happy as I am now. It's true when they say that you never know happiness until you find love. There is only one other time in my life that I thought I was in love, and after meeting Brian, it's not even comparable.
I love our story. It's something that doesn't seem real. It's random and crazy and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I was working at Minnesota Montessori as a Teacher's Assistant in Children's House A which was a Preschool classroom. I had previously worked for Tim and Saroja in their Eagan school a few years earlier and when I came back from San Diego, they offered me a position. It wasn't really something I had thought about doing long term but once I was there, I loved working with the kids and I began to take classes to better educate myself in the teachings of Montessori.
Jackie and I had a little inside joke about Brian. He was my "Hot Dad". I thought he was gorgeous! Everytime he would come into school to pick up Carter, I could not make eye-contact with him, especially if he tried to talk to me. I would blush like crazy and stutter and get so nervous around him. It was the running joke around school that I had a "crush" on him. To me that's all it was, an innocent crush - he was married!
It just so happens that Brian and Heather's good friend Nancy also does my hair. When she had mentioned to me that she was good friends with the two of them, I would always ask about Brian and Carter, especially after Carter stopped going to the Montessori. She would fill me in on how they were doing and eventually, she would tell me that he was getting divorced.
Last November, I came home unexpectedly for Thanksgiving and went to see Nancy while I was home. We talked and I mentioned to her that I was moving back here and the first thing she had said was "You should totally go on a date with Brian!" The first thing I said to her was "Don't you think I am too young for him?" I didn't really feel that way, but I also didn't figure that Brian would date someone nine years younger either. What if I wasn't even his type? What if he's not looking to date anybody? I really wasn't looking but when I left Nancy's that day I couldn't get Brian out of my head.
When I got back to Florida a few days later, I was still thinking about him and what Nancy had said. I casually looked at his Myspace and he had just added new pictures of himself and Carter - PERFECT! I left a comment and signed off.
The next day I signed on and I had a message from him. That started a week of emails, which turned into me asking for his number, which turned into a month of getting to know eachother through all day emails, texts, and phone calls. It was great that we were so far away because there were no expectations, just getting to know eachother. I was going to be coming home for two weeks at Christmas and Brian and I planned on seeing eachother right away. After a month of talking to him non-stop and not seeing him since the days at the Montessori I was very anxious to get here.
The day I came to town didn't start out how I had planned. My flight from Jacksonville to Atlanta was delayed which meant I missed my connecting flight and had to sit in Atlanta for FOUR hours by myself before another flight was coming to Minneapolis. I was so upset. By the time I finally got to town, it was almost two in the afternoon. My Mom picked me up and I went home to hang out, shower, and get ready for my date with Brian.
I drove to Shakopee to see my cousin and have a drink before I met up with Brian. I was so nervous that I thought a drink would calm me down. I should've had a few more! When Brian called to tell me he would be at her house soon, I had the most butterflies I have ever had.
When he called to tell me he was there I was shaking so bad. I walked into the garage and had to take a few deep breaths before I could open the door. Everything was leading up to this moment, I had envisioned it a million times in my head over the last four weeks. I opened the door and walked out. I couldn't hide the stupid grin on my face and when he stood out of the car and smiled at me, I almost ran to him and he gave me the biggest hug. It felt so good to finally touch him. This person that I had built this friendship and connection with was real! He even surprised me with a kiss....
Brian is the most amazing man I have ever met. He brings so much joy to my life. I have never been as happy as I am when I am with him. He supports me in everything that I do and I know that he'll always be there for me. We have so much fun together and I can't wait to see what our future holds!
This past year has flown by. It amazes me that the older I get, the faster time passes. It's a gentle reminder to slow down and enjoy life and not take anything for granted, and sometimes I need that.
I never would have imagined that I could be as happy as I am now. It's true when they say that you never know happiness until you find love. There is only one other time in my life that I thought I was in love, and after meeting Brian, it's not even comparable.
I love our story. It's something that doesn't seem real. It's random and crazy and I wouldn't change it for the world.
I was working at Minnesota Montessori as a Teacher's Assistant in Children's House A which was a Preschool classroom. I had previously worked for Tim and Saroja in their Eagan school a few years earlier and when I came back from San Diego, they offered me a position. It wasn't really something I had thought about doing long term but once I was there, I loved working with the kids and I began to take classes to better educate myself in the teachings of Montessori.
Jackie and I had a little inside joke about Brian. He was my "Hot Dad". I thought he was gorgeous! Everytime he would come into school to pick up Carter, I could not make eye-contact with him, especially if he tried to talk to me. I would blush like crazy and stutter and get so nervous around him. It was the running joke around school that I had a "crush" on him. To me that's all it was, an innocent crush - he was married!
It just so happens that Brian and Heather's good friend Nancy also does my hair. When she had mentioned to me that she was good friends with the two of them, I would always ask about Brian and Carter, especially after Carter stopped going to the Montessori. She would fill me in on how they were doing and eventually, she would tell me that he was getting divorced.
Last November, I came home unexpectedly for Thanksgiving and went to see Nancy while I was home. We talked and I mentioned to her that I was moving back here and the first thing she had said was "You should totally go on a date with Brian!" The first thing I said to her was "Don't you think I am too young for him?" I didn't really feel that way, but I also didn't figure that Brian would date someone nine years younger either. What if I wasn't even his type? What if he's not looking to date anybody? I really wasn't looking but when I left Nancy's that day I couldn't get Brian out of my head.
When I got back to Florida a few days later, I was still thinking about him and what Nancy had said. I casually looked at his Myspace and he had just added new pictures of himself and Carter - PERFECT! I left a comment and signed off.
The next day I signed on and I had a message from him. That started a week of emails, which turned into me asking for his number, which turned into a month of getting to know eachother through all day emails, texts, and phone calls. It was great that we were so far away because there were no expectations, just getting to know eachother. I was going to be coming home for two weeks at Christmas and Brian and I planned on seeing eachother right away. After a month of talking to him non-stop and not seeing him since the days at the Montessori I was very anxious to get here.
The day I came to town didn't start out how I had planned. My flight from Jacksonville to Atlanta was delayed which meant I missed my connecting flight and had to sit in Atlanta for FOUR hours by myself before another flight was coming to Minneapolis. I was so upset. By the time I finally got to town, it was almost two in the afternoon. My Mom picked me up and I went home to hang out, shower, and get ready for my date with Brian.
I drove to Shakopee to see my cousin and have a drink before I met up with Brian. I was so nervous that I thought a drink would calm me down. I should've had a few more! When Brian called to tell me he would be at her house soon, I had the most butterflies I have ever had.
When he called to tell me he was there I was shaking so bad. I walked into the garage and had to take a few deep breaths before I could open the door. Everything was leading up to this moment, I had envisioned it a million times in my head over the last four weeks. I opened the door and walked out. I couldn't hide the stupid grin on my face and when he stood out of the car and smiled at me, I almost ran to him and he gave me the biggest hug. It felt so good to finally touch him. This person that I had built this friendship and connection with was real! He even surprised me with a kiss....
Brian is the most amazing man I have ever met. He brings so much joy to my life. I have never been as happy as I am when I am with him. He supports me in everything that I do and I know that he'll always be there for me. We have so much fun together and I can't wait to see what our future holds!
Friday, April 25, 2008
The "Shorts"
I have a pair of shorts. Actually, I have many but I am particularily fond of one pair - the pink ones.
What makes this pair so special you ask?
These shorts have been with me through some of the best (and worst!) times of my life. These shorts have comforted me when I was sad and made me laugh when I was happy, they've caused me a ton of grief and many laughs throughout the years (especially as of late!)
I actually bought them in the the Spring of 03' right as I was preparing for my Senior Class trip to Cancun, Mexico. I saw them hanging on the rack at Old Navy and knew instantly they were the perfect "beach" shorts (and they were!)
Fast forward two years later and I'm living in San Diego, CA. Much has changed these past two years but the shorts survived and made the trip along to California. These shorts comforted me on some of my most anxious days. When it seemed I was such an outsider, the shorts made me feel better. Especially on the days I found it hard to leave the house.
Fast forward another two years and you'll find me in Jacksonville, FL. This was by far the hardest and most lonely year of my life. These shorts were there for all the tears, the fights, and the long days. Just putting them on meant I could most likely curl up in bed and escape.
Now I will be the first to admit that the shorts have seen better days. There is more than a few holes, the ass is so saggy it damn near hits the back of my knees, and I've worn them while painting a few times but I still absolutely love them. Brian hates them. In fact, I haven't met one person who hasn't said "I think it's time to give them up." or " Those are so nasty." yet I still can't bare to get rid of them! I even gave Brian the scissors the other night and told him to cut them up - I think that's the only way I'll stop wearing them and even then I might still find a way! He wouldn't do it because he didn't want me to resent him for doing it so he gave me the scissors - like I was going to do it - Riiight. Brian, being the good sport that he is, even earmarked some pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog on the pages with new shorts. :)
If you love me, you love the pink shorts! Although I did promise him I won't wear them to bed anymore!
The way I see it is we all have our little "things." My little things just happen to be a baby blankie and an old pair of shorts at the age of 23. Oh well. :)
What makes this pair so special you ask?
These shorts have been with me through some of the best (and worst!) times of my life. These shorts have comforted me when I was sad and made me laugh when I was happy, they've caused me a ton of grief and many laughs throughout the years (especially as of late!)
I actually bought them in the the Spring of 03' right as I was preparing for my Senior Class trip to Cancun, Mexico. I saw them hanging on the rack at Old Navy and knew instantly they were the perfect "beach" shorts (and they were!)
Fast forward two years later and I'm living in San Diego, CA. Much has changed these past two years but the shorts survived and made the trip along to California. These shorts comforted me on some of my most anxious days. When it seemed I was such an outsider, the shorts made me feel better. Especially on the days I found it hard to leave the house.
Fast forward another two years and you'll find me in Jacksonville, FL. This was by far the hardest and most lonely year of my life. These shorts were there for all the tears, the fights, and the long days. Just putting them on meant I could most likely curl up in bed and escape.
Now I will be the first to admit that the shorts have seen better days. There is more than a few holes, the ass is so saggy it damn near hits the back of my knees, and I've worn them while painting a few times but I still absolutely love them. Brian hates them. In fact, I haven't met one person who hasn't said "I think it's time to give them up." or " Those are so nasty." yet I still can't bare to get rid of them! I even gave Brian the scissors the other night and told him to cut them up - I think that's the only way I'll stop wearing them and even then I might still find a way! He wouldn't do it because he didn't want me to resent him for doing it so he gave me the scissors - like I was going to do it - Riiight. Brian, being the good sport that he is, even earmarked some pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog on the pages with new shorts. :)
If you love me, you love the pink shorts! Although I did promise him I won't wear them to bed anymore!
The way I see it is we all have our little "things." My little things just happen to be a baby blankie and an old pair of shorts at the age of 23. Oh well. :)
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